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i've never been much of a thinker... but i recently moved into an enviornment where its impossible not to be. My life has changed drasticallyy these last few months, but thats another story in itself. For a while, i stopped believing in everything. I stopped believing in people, in god, and in love. But a fortunate turn of events has restored my faith in god, and in love.. and even in people... but none of its the same..people.. people..people. i lost my faith in people. i've had so many people walk out of my life, so many broken promises, so many broken hearts.. it was hard for me to belive in the goodness of people.. but then i started thinking... i think about everything that happens.. i think about why those people lied, left, or hurt me.. and i think about there situations, and even tho thinking about it all doesnt excuse there actions, it does numb the pain. it makes me realise that all people fuck up. but "they got' good hearts." God.. God.. God.. i used to go to church every sunday.. tuesday.. and wednesday.. looking back.. i think i just used church as an excuse to get out of my house... despite my reasoning for going.. i did learn alot about god. I Dont go to church anymore.. but i do believe in God, and i try to do right by him. Finally.. Love.. Love.. Love.. i lost my faith in love, i didnt think it existed. Seeing my parents hating eachother my whole life, and seeing all my friends parents divorce, all the songs about heart break on the radio.. love just seemed impossible.. relationships are so fucked up sometimes. its sccary. But.. then i guess i changed my opinion about the definition of love. Before love was finding that one person that completed you, made you whole. but thats not it at all. I believe in order to truely love someone you have to know who YOU are. You have to be a fully functional individual.. and you ahve to find another fully functional individual.. also.. i have ADHD. and i dont really want to talk about all that anymoree:) haha anyways.. when im mad, or sad, i write, it makes me feel better,it just works for me. In the words of kelly clarkson.. or maybe it was katie perry "i do not hook up" :) haha i love to listen to music.. its like a train it just takes my mind places my body has never been:) i enjoy smoking with my friends, and im gettin pretty good at beer pong ;) i like to dance badly in the car:) i like long car rides.. just because i get to listen to the radio for a really long time. I hate it when people dont like to listen to music loudly. I also hate it when people turn down the radio.. in the middle of my song.. to tell me something that i really dont give a damn about:) one uppers piss me off.. if you dont know what a one upper is just message me.. ill let you know:) right now.. im on a path of self discovery, just tryin to figure out who i am, and find my place in this worldd:)

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